Why You Should Absolutely, Positively Never Try Fly Fishing

Forest Early
Aug 6
2 min read

A tongue-in-cheek warning from the banks of the creek

Let’s just get this out of the way: don’t fly fish.

Seriously. Don’t. It’s a trap.

It starts simple. Some quiet afternoon, you see a guy in waders standing midstream, false casting like he’s in a slow-motion cologne commercial. Maybe he’s got a graying beard and a look in his eye like he knows something you don’t. You think: That looks peaceful. That could be me.

It could be. But don’t take the bait!

Because the moment you pick up a fly rod, you’re signing up for an entirely new kind of obsession. One that doesn’t involve winning or looking cool or even catching anything most days. It's just... you, alone, failing spectacularly in nature while somehow loving every second of it.

Here's a few reasons to run the other way:

Number 1. You’ll never look at water the same again. That lazy bend in the river? That’s not scenery anymore—that’s “perfect holding water.” Every creek becomes a battleground. Every swirl of current a puzzle. And congratulations, you’re now the weird guy squinting at eddies on family hikes.

Second, You’ll become a minimalist… against your will. You’ll stop chasing the newest, shiniest gear and start valuing hand-tied flies, old flannel, and silence. Gross. Who wants to slow down and live simply in a noisy, bloated world? Not you, right? Just grab your phone rt tablet and waste your time playing games.

3. You’ll start to enjoy not catching fish. You’ll lie to yourself at first—“I’m just here for the solitude.” But give it time, and it won’t be a lie anymore. You’ll actually mean it. And when you do catch one? You’ll let it go on purpose. What’s wrong with you? And when you try to explain to your coworkers and friends why you let it go, they will look at you as if you are crazy.

4. You’ll start needing less. Less validation. Less screen time. Less chaos. The longer you fish, the more you’ll find yourself at peace with the kind of quiet that used to feel unbearable. You’ll begin to realize that most of what’s marketed as living is just noise.

So no, don’t try fly fishing. You’ll lose track of time. You’ll stop caring about social media. You’ll want to spend more days outside than inside. And worst of all? You’ll start feeling… grounded. Lets just admit, being constantly stressed is the only way to thrive in the world.